You've Re-lapsed

Those are some pretty ugly words. And so far, I've had to hear them twice in the last 6 months.
I found out on Wed. during a routine follow up that the doctors had discovered blasts within my blood. This hit me pretty hard, I think a little harder than the first time back in September. But it was imminent that the disease was going to find it's way back. I was off the juice for too long. The last chemo dose I received in the hospital was the first week of Oct. Since then, the only reason for my long hospital stay was due to infections and fungal pneumonia that was pretty persistent. That delayed my recovery time and the time for them to begin the next phase. So in my opinion, I was in remission for four months on what's considered an inadequate amount of chemo. I'll take it. I just need to be more cautious this round. I need to do whatever I can to try and keep my hospital time limited. The good thing is I've brought my weight and strength back up to a normal state. Thanks to all my workout sessions at the gym with Jay. And of course mom's cooking, who by the way, fed me like I was a 250lbs man. I was able to spend Thanksgiving at home, Christmas with the family and even celebrate the new year with a couple of close friends. So I feel good again. I know it's bound to get worse, even by tomorrow, but I've shed most of my worries. Now, it's battle time once again. There has not been one time throughout this whole process that I've felt God has left me. B/c if he left me, I wouldn't still be here. And I know he's watching and listening. I know he hasn't forgotten.